Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Chronic Pain

In the Spring of 2003 as I was heading for the laundry room in my dorm I slipped on a wet landing thus hitting my back squarely into the edge of a step. I was a little shaken and sore at the time but I pressed through it with a smile on my face. I graduated in May of that year with no visible signs of pain from the slip. I had no idea that 5 years later the pain would emerge.

The beginning of 2008 I started having back pains. The pain started small and eventually got more painful. It seemed like I was having chronic pain but then again it only lasted for a little while eventually I was pain free or so I thought. First time it happened was early part of the year when there was snow on the ground.

The second time was around the beginning of Spring I think. I can't be too sure because I could swear it was farther apart but the body can play tricks with the mind. It might not have been the beginning of spring but it was spring. The pain was more definite this time. It was in the same general area as the first time. It lasted just as long as the first time which was weird. I've tried different ways to get this pain to go away. I usually lay on a heating pad or I sit on it depending on what I'm doing. I take a lot of OTC pain medicine. Sometime if I walk around for a bit the pain will subside but only for a little bit.

As of today I've been in pain again a total of 5 days I think. See the pain plays tricks on the mind. I've been hurting so much that I can't remember all that well. I can't stand being on the computer at my home simply because I don't have a decent chair to sit in. The longer I sit the sorer I feel and the tighter my muscles in my leg get. Tonight I was reading about back problems on the website back.com. I think I have neuropathic pain according to the diagram on back.com. My pain starts in my lower back and then travels down my left leg all the way to my toes on my left foot. As I was reading it I thought it was chronic but now that I think about it the pain doesn't happen all the time. If it happened more frequently I might think it was chronic but it has only happened three times.

I just never thought I would be spending my life in so much pain. I try to manage the pain as well as I can given my situation in life. I work at a job that doesn't offer insurance to its workers. I have to treat it the only way I know how. I take OTC drugs that do some good then I rely on a heating pad to do some work and in the morning I rely of hot water from the shower to do its part. All together I think I'm doing pretty good just getting by. But when I get to a point where the pills aren't working or the heat isn't doing its job then I get a little emotional. I cry a lot. I try doing something so my mind isn't connecting with the pain but that only last for so long. I try talking to other people. I talk about my pain sometimes that works because it brings the pain in perspective. But then again I've gotten to the point where my mom has suggested I go to the emergency room because the pain is so sharp. I just hope that going to a chiropractor all though it may not be who I need to see but she may be able to shed some light on my pain and what I should be doing.

I give a lot of credit to people who can manage their own pain without help from the medical profession. I just feel that this pain is far beyond my control. I decided to write this blog as a way to redistribute my pain. I figure if I talk openly about it maybe someone else will let me into to their life of pain. I think that I will have to live the rest of my life with some type of pain just maybe not to this degree.

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